Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
