Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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