I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
