he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize