You're so nebulous sometimes
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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