That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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