Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize