S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
