why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
