everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need a burrito and a hug.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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