ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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