i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
