the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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