yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
