I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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