Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
