I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
