Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
