i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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