I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
