party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
