we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
