I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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BRING THE BAGELS
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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