She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
