i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
