just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize