oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Your penis caused this!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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