At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
time to smoke my breakfast
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
