that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
