I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
