He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
