It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
