after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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