Fine. I'll sleep in my office
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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