i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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