so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
