the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
