Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
