I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
