You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
