I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
