is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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