I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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