so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
