Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
where am i from again
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
