Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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