This girl is more easily done than said...
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
