i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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