Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
