OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
