So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
