I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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