Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
