I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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