oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
