my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
