Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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