Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sober January is a disaster.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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