Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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