i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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