im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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