I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
