Who wears a wallet chain?!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
