See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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