Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
