so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
