Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
