This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
