I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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